In Which Christina and Her Plans Are Divided by a Common Language

Let's just say: April has not been my jam. Let's just say: April has sparked exactly no joy. Let's just say: I nominate the month of April to receive a George RR Martin death scene. I was so hopeful at the beginning. I submitted stories to online magazines and wrote most of this very blog…

In Which I Discover I’ve Been Using a Fake ID

A few short weeks ago I was waxing lyrical about the repetition of significant events in my life. I went on to wax philosophical and theological about Lazarus and the two extra days of waiting. I waxed all kinds of crap about all kinds of things and was feeling very spiritually perceptive and, let's just…

Mutiny

Saturday we decided to have a family day by going out to lunch at McDonald's and then Christmas money splurge shopping at Walmart. It seemed like a good plan. Until I returned home, as one crawling to shore, clutching their remaining tattered garments and taking inventory of appendages unscathed, after having survived a pirate attack…

Roll Initiative

I've been tasked with writing a Dungeons and Dragons adventure for my family. (Nearly every word about this sentence would have given me pause 20 years ago.) The stratosphere of social coolness levels aside, D&D is a complex game. There are lots of charts. Mathematics are involved. One finds oneself saying things like, "What a…

Dorian’s Palette

Made of failure, constructed of disappointment, she is set down before Beautiful with her empty bowl and her crushed being. Twisted and untruthful, plank-eyed and a great arm for stone throwing, she is brought to Beautiful and placed on her mat, given her bowl. Her portrait is a glossy masterpiece in Vermillion in Prussian Blue.…

Watch Repair

I get tired. I sleep on the job. I look around but I do not watch. I love the trees-- how they dwell in their grassy silent chambers. And I hate wandering on the edge of those gardens of knowing the terror is only just ahead-- but not yet. I would feel safer in a…