We were relatively new to the neighborhood, but several of the little girls were meeting on the porch across the street. Adorable with their ruffly clothes and pony-tailed curls, they brushed their dolls' hair lovingly as they chatted. Bella had just arrived with her puppy backpack. I don't think her own hair had been brushed... Continue Reading →
Spoilers: There is no poetry in breaking one's ass at the bowling alley. And even sadder, this was not even my most epic fail. So, picture it-- the Ft. Leavenworth Strike Zone, moments after leaving a child home with her father, in a fit of rage and tears and possibly blood because the toy she'd... Continue Reading →
Made of failure, constructed of disappointment, she is set down before Beautiful with her empty bowl and her crushed being. Twisted and untruthful, plank-eyed and a great arm for stone throwing, she is brought to Beautiful and placed on her mat, given her bowl. Her portrait is a glossy masterpiece in Vermillion in Prussian Blue.... Continue Reading →
I get tired. I sleep on the job. I look around but I do not watch. I love the trees-- how they dwell in their grassy silent chambers. And I hate wandering on the edge of those gardens of knowing the terror is only just ahead-- but not yet. I would feel safer in a... Continue Reading →
From under the stones- in a flurry of sticks- the weapon bursts outward. The weapon is singing a song. The mission has a soundtrack. Lists, signposts, a return address: they mark the map I follow. I want to hold the weapon-- for protection for promise for prosperity. It seems to have new batteries though. The... Continue Reading →
Find yourself planted for three years in a place people typically stay for only one. Congratulate yourself on all that personal growth you did in Hawaii. Think about all the people you know who might have cancer. Plan a productive day. Damn the constantly dirty floor to Hell. Think about writing. Go to the gym.... Continue Reading →
They have to leave us. They try to do it strongly. We have to let them go. We try to do it gracefully. They have to go far away. We have to stay put. But it doesn't always happen fast. Sometimes it drags out over days. Days of waiting to leave. Days of knowing they... Continue Reading →
This past week I had occasion to call an ambulance. Twice. The first time was especially great because I was also obliged to leave my screaming husband and screaming baby in the exam room so as to run across the hospital to the parking lot where I had to move my car in order for... Continue Reading →
When we had a non-carpeted eating area (ah, the sweet sweet regret of yesteryear), one of the kids' chores was to sweep the floor after dinner. On this particular day, Bella was wearing her paper crown from school--Happy Birthday Bella! scrolling in gorgeously sparkly glitter around it. Bella, from the floor with her dust pan: "Since... Continue Reading →
